Category: journal

This is the poem that Lin will read at Julia’s memorial service today. She died on the 30th of August.

Words For It

by Julia Cameron

I wish I could take language
And fold it like cool, moist rags.
I would lay words on your forehead.
I would wrap words on your wrists.
“There, there,” my words would say–
Or something better.
I would ask them to murmur,
“Hush” and “Shh, shhh, it’s all right.”
I would ask them to hold you all night.
I wish I could take language
And daub and soothe and cool
Where fever blisters and burns,
Where fever turns yourself against you.
I wish I could take language
And heal the words that were the wounds
You have no names for.

I suppose it’s a couple or three weeks since Mum and Dad came to stay for the weekend. They chose their time specifically so as to intersect with Nonna and Assunta’s stay and, by a sort of arranged coincidence, Singe and Christine were around, too; specifically, in a campsite in the Shelfords. I took the Friday off and Mum and Dad arrived for lunch, parking the van in front of Ali’s house. We spent the afternoon hanging out at home. I was hobbled by an infection in my heel which was pretty darn painful. I think we all had a nice game of Performance which Mum and Dad had given Lola for her birthday. We had lamb casserole for dinner. Gosh, isn’t this all just too exciting. You can tell the muse is really with me as I type this…

A densly-packed weekend ensued, starting with a trip out to Upware for a picnic by the river. The lock there is quite impressive with its big motorised sluices and we watched one narrow-boating couple go through onto the lode, on their way to Wicken Fen. A lot of effort (albeit largely mental effort spent working out which buttons to push to get the sluices to operate) to rise the inch or so required. Much boaty chatter, unsurprisingly, from Singe and Christine who have only recently sold their own narrowboat.
It’s lovely up at Upware with the junctions of the Cam and various lodes and lots of boats moored up along the banks, many stopping at the “Miles From Anywhere” pub which backs onto the river. I’m now inspired to hire a boat for a week’s holiday around our local waterways.
So, we walked, ate, chatted and played. I saw a woodpecker. Green: I’ve not seen many of those. Then back in convoy (two motor homes across the narrowly-roaded fens) in time to cook the ham for the evening’s ham, egg and (bought) chips.
The next day, we arranged to meet St John and Christine in town for a wander around the colleges. Isa, Lola and Neve stayed at home so they could go to Rosie’s birthday party.
We parked up by the botanic gardens and walked up to the Fitzwilliam to meet S&C. From there we fought our way through hoards of Asian tourists to the queue for entry to Kings. We quickly decided that wasn’t a clever idea and wandered off to find another college to invade. Appositely enough, we ended up touring St Johns which was impressive, not least in the herbacious borders department.
I then exhausted everyone with a walk back to the van through the backs. (I later salved my guilt by working out that the route was barely longer than returning through town.)
I’d started a shoulder of pork earlier and left it in a low oven so just had the taties to roast and veg to do. I forget what, bur probably spinach from the garden.

The next day it was all aboard the branch-line train to Newmarket. We had Neve very much in mind for this trip as she had spent the last couple of months going on about our Minehead trip: “HAN-pah, sit down, woo-woo! Nonna, sit down, woo-woo! Etc”. It was somewhat stressful getting everyone in the camper and to the station on time but we made it with minutes to spare. Unfortunately, it turns out that that line is not part of Network Sourh-East and so not covered by my gold card. Luckily, tickets were cheap anyway.
It was fun going down that line: behind the beehive centre, across the common, past the allotments, over the level-crossing at Cherry Hinton. Funny how fast we went past it all – it was hard to spot everything – yet the train seems so slow when we watch it from the common. Within 20 minutes, we were stepping out onto the platform at Newmarket.
I have a tip for anyone going to Newmarket: don’t. At least, not until you’ve exhausted all the other options on your list. I mean some of the buildings were interesting enough and the horse market (and the ostentatious houses around it) and the Jockey Club HQ added colour, as did the “modern art” statues of horse dotted around the place. But there was a grim air of abandonment about the place; much of the high street was woefully dilapidated and populated with outlets (definitely not shops) that spoke of approaching doom. A seedy (is there any other kind) table-dancing joint dominated one end of the street.
We stopped for tea at the Museum of Horseracing, which appeared to double as a rest-home for the elderly. They did have a pleasant garden to sit in, though — I doubt we’d have found anywhere better. A quick tramp around the town and we were back on the train, heading home.

London’s burning and I’m blogging about the allotment. Suspension of belief. Not that they’re rioting about anything, appears to be an excuse for a night out vandalising for entertainment. With free gifts. Of course, I may be being glib. This is an interesting read

Anyway. Cucumbers are not really producing; lots of small fruit but I had to remove larger ones as ends rotten. Isa did excellent work removing bad foliage and putting wood under to hold off ground. Courgettes much cut back due to white leaves but still producing.

The outdoor Incas all have a lot of fruit; green as yet but fingers crossed. French beans are cropping; borlotti getting big but beans not quite ready last I looked.

The stuff planted in Nonna’s bed is coming on. Beetroot and Beet leaf now 3″ or more; spring onion is appearing, red cabbage is inch-high, and the rest all seems to have germinated.

The fennel is looking good: at least eight inches tall and bulbs starring to form. Dwarf kale next to it also thriving.

Transplanted kale at the back has taken well and is also looking good

We’ve had quite a lot of rain since Nonna and Assunta arrived, and a couple of quite cool days. Not like last year  when we were eating outside most evenings.

Saturday, we planned to go to the butcher in Fulbourne but when I went to unlock the car… Oops: dead. Again, the glowplug switch had somehow got turned on. Enough: I cut it off. While charging it, it started to hammer down with rain. I tried to start the car too soon, wasted the charge and we failed to get it ready in time to go to the butcher. So we had lunch and then Isa went off with the nonne in the now-adequately-charged car to do a spot of shopping (town crowded; they ended up in the Beehive) while I stayed at home with the girls, playing games and starting the chicken (potato) pie.

Sunday was a great day. Off for a swim in the morning, causing great excitement in the girls. Back home and Neve to bed (after toast and honey for both, much needed by a cranky Neve) while Lola and I popped off to TK Max to change the nifty new shoes Isa had got me for a larger pair and then to Asda for a couple of essentials.

Home and a quick bit of gardening (elsewhere mentioned) before heading out to Town for lunch. We don’t all fit in the car so we decided to get a taxi. As it arrived, it started to piss down; luckily, it was slowing by the time we got there and stopped soon after.

Bill’s was our target. We had to wait 40 minutes for a table, so we wandered round a few shops and I watched the tourists while the women browsed clothes.

We ate very well at Bill’s, though the chilli in the squash risotto took Assunta by surprise and my beefburger was far from rare. It was lovely to treat Lola and Neve; they had fishcake and chips and shared a strawberry pavlova for pud.

[that’s enough dull rambling. Ed]

A nice catch-all title that lets me just dump a sort of “stuff-that-happened” flow-of-consciousness style of entry.

We drove down to London on Saturday for Elly’s birthday do at the Cock and Dragon. It was a lovely warm day and we took the scenic route through The Shelfords, Fowlmere, Barley, Barkway, Puckeridge. On the way there, we dropped onto the A10 and then the M25 but I wasn’t too keen on that, so on the way back I went through Potters Bar, Essendon, Hertford, Puckeridge, etc. Lovely countryside with poppies in bloom, corn ripening, etc.

We went swimming at David Lloyds on Sunday morning. That was the first time we’d all been for a little while. Neve and Lola both very pleased to go. Lola still very cautious; it took a lot of persuading her to use her arms while I held her in the water: she wanted to keep them near her chest, holding on to my arm. Still, she did eventually let go.

That behaviour is fairly typical of Lola at the moment. We went across to the Engineering Society in Newnham that afternoon for Sascha’s party, arriving a little late — just late enough to have missed the rain, which was good. Sabrina and Tim had organised a few games, one of which was a stilt race, where the stilts were wooden blocks with ropes attached that you pulled on to keep the blocks on your feet. Lola went over to join in, then came back to ask that Isa or I accompany her. I went with her but she wouldn’t join in the game, saying she was scared. I stayed with her, encouraging her to join in, trying to put her at her ease. It wasn’t until everyone else had wandered off that she jumped off my knee and went to try the stilts.

For the past two weeks, Stefy and Sofia had been staying with us but this was their last weekend; spent largely in town at the shops. We left them to it, while we got on with the above. On Monday night, Nonna Cesarina and Assunta arrived, together with Alvise who was to chaperone the girls back the following day. So there were nine of us staying in the house that night. Isa and I moved in with Lola and Neve for the evening, Alvise slept on the sofa, Nonna and Assunta took our room and the other two girls stayed in the spare room on my lovely new bed.

Easy as pie. And then Tuesday evening, Stefy, Sofia and Alvise flew back (I drove, despite worries that my back might be too painful to allow it) and we are now alone with Nonna and Assunta.